recently hearing travis atreo youtube chanels, he cover some my favorite songs like gateway car, blank space, perfect, clean and more, i really love the vibes he created!
"Hello my name is baby sun flower, i'm leafless first, then i have 2 leaves, then 4 leaves around 1 month. When i had just 2 leaves, i learn how to catch CO2, and my roots learn how to absorbs water and some minerals, sunlight come, then you can enjoy my first oxygen" said Sufo to me, i give her name Sufo abbreviation from Sun Flower and it's just sound too cute. Planting plant is more simple and cheaper than buying oxygen tube in hospital, and this is my miracle definition.
This is a plant, and that is the star, this is trees, and that is beach, so many things are named, are same, but have multiple meaning, have different meaning for every person. Trees are just trees for other, for botanical student, trees are super crazy, complicated, they should know how many stomata types. Trees are beautiful, green, red, pink, orange, just enjoying so many trees a long the road make your eyes happy. Inside of trees there are complex photosynthesis systems, trying to learn about it once in a while, and your brain will happy. Bring this concept to all the things around you, especially something you like. Learn and enjoy, then your soul will happy, will understand what life mean.
Sometimes i feel special because i'm being single until now, i'm single and i learn, i learn so much feelings which maybe anothers woman can't feel because they already taken before 25 or maybe they had been learned earlier than me. What i have learned : we need to learn how to kiss, not only kiss in general definition but more deeper than what dictionary said, we need to learn how to hold, we need to learn why sex not only about lust but about love, we need to learn what, why, and how love works. In reality, i can't learn how to kiss someone before marriage, so i learn from movie, from book that i've been read. I learn why they kissed, and why they never feel disgusted. I learn why sometimes they do fake kisses and learn warm kisses in another case. I also learn why sex feels so heavy for some people, and so beautiful and easy for another. I'm so happy, super pasionate learn about 'this feeling' before marriage if i have a chance to marriage someday. I think in so manytimes, what i really need is not becaming good cooker for my husband, but i need to understand what is love itself, because if i understand, love will teach me how to make the best food for my husband.
Did you ever feel that you don't need any places to take a rest except sleep long day at your home, don't need explore new places just because you follow so many travel influencers on instragram and never miss their stories so you feel it's enough? Yes, I did 2 years later. Working - sleeping - reading - sleeping - working - sometimes writing - still can't believe how i spend my time after 25th yo for 2 years. I'm feeling so tired after work, so i'm sleeping to top up my energy for work again tomorrow, I think my blood pressure (BP) raising when i'm working because so many people can't hold their horses (impatience), so once again i'm sleeping (in a fact, i always check my BP and get the normal result :p). Sleep is my best friend in my early adult stage!
When i'm getting stress, i learn what most people do to release their stress, i know from their instagram stories, from their feed, from personal chat, popular articles and more. Traveling still popular for today, still the best cure. They look happy when exploring their dream by visiting so many places on their checklist. I can feel how happy they are, but my deepest heart said "that's super tiring uchi, best if you stay at home and learn from them" okay and i'm sleeping again after catch all their stories. And anyway did you know what i miss the most about traveling? Right, get a comfortable place to sleep again! So, there is nothing wrong visiting Surabaya just for sleeping :p (i'm not totally serius XD)
absolutelly, YES i love sleeping! XD
I want you to tell me about every person you've ever been in love with.
Tell me why you love them,
then tell me why they loved you.
Tell me about a day in your life you didn't think you'd live through.
Tell me what the word home means to you
and tell me in the way that i'll know your mother's name
just by the way you describe your bedroom
when you were eight.
See, i want to know the first time you felt the weight of hate,
and if that day still trembles beneath your bones
Do you prefer to play n puddles of rain
or bounce in he belliesf snow?
And if you were to build a snowman ,
would you rip two branches from a tree to build your snowman arms
or would you leave your snowman armless
for the sake of being harmless to the tree?
And if you would,
would you notice how that tree weeps for you
because your snowman has no arms to hug you
every time you kiss him on the cheek?
Do you kiss your friend on the cheek?
Do you sleep beside them when they're sad?
even if it makes your lover mad?
Do you think that anger is a sincere emotion
or just the timid motion of a fragile art trying to beat away its pain?
See, I wanna ow what you think of your first name
and if you often lie awake at night and imagine your mother joy
when she spoke it for the first time.
I want you tell me all the ways you've been unkind.
Tell me all the ways you've been cruel.
Tell me, knowing i often picture Gandhi at ten years old
beating up little boys at school.
If you were walking by a Chemical plant
where smokestacks were filling the sky with dark black clouds
would you holler "Poison! Poison! Poison!" really loud
or would you whisper
"that cloud looks like a fish, and that cloudlooks like fairy!"
Do you belive that Mary was really virgin?
Do you believe that Moses really parted the sea?
And if you don't believe in miracles, tell me-
how would you explain the miracle of my life to me?
See, I wanna knowif you belive in any god
or if you believe in many gods
or better yet
what gods believe in you.
And for all the times that you've knelt before the temple of your self,
have the prayers you asked come true?
And if they didn't, did you feel denied?
And if you felt denied, denied by who?
I wanna know what you see when you look in the mirror on a day you're feeling good.
I wanna know what you see when you look in the mirror on a day you're feeling bad.
I wanna know the first person who taught you your beauty
could ever be reflected on a lousy piece of glass.
If you ever reach enlightenment.
will you remember how to laugh?
Have you ever been a song?
Would you think less of me
If i told you i've lived my entire life a little off-key?
And i'm not nearly as smart as my poetry
i just plagirize the thoughts of the people around me
who have learned the wisdom of silence.
Do you believe concrete perpetuates violence?
And if you do-
I want you tell me of a meadow
where my skateboard will soar.
See, i wanna know more than what you do for a living.
I wanna know how much of your life you spend just giving,
and if you love yourself enough to also receive sometimes.
I wanna know if you blend sometimes
from other people's wounds,
and if you dream sometimes
that this life is just a ballon-
that if you wanted to, you could pop,
but you never would
'cause you'd never want it to stop.
If a tree fell in the forest
and you were the only one there to hear --
if its fall to the ground didn't make a sound,
would you panic in fear that you didn't exist,
or would you bask in the bliss of your nothingness?
And lastly, let me ask you this:
if you and i went for a walk
and the entire walk, we didn't talk--
do you think eventually, we'd .... kiss?
No., wait.
That's asking to much --
after all,
this is only our first date
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*i love this part :'3
Everytime i go to work, i pass the same road, this road became beautiful in october because tabebuya trees grow a long the road. This .... so beautiful, i know my eyes fall in love with this trees for the first time. When i drive i really want to making video, i want to capture my feeling around that trees, but it's hard, it's risky, my friend so busy, and also i'm. The best thing that i can do is take my aunt with me, and start capturing some moments..... i'm happy for that.... so grateful in many things... good bye beautiful october :)
Anyone never ask me why so many teeth poster on my wall? They never know that my teeth is different with others, they never know that have a beautiful smile is my dream since i was 10th, they never know that teeth is my fav part on my body, and in so many time they hurt me, they judge me, they make me feeling bad everytime they saw me. I'm not born with all the things i want, i'm just a ordinary girl. Day by day, year by year passed way. I learn, i work, i'm getting paid, i save my money and I get the chance to make my teeth better. I decided to visit NDC Esthetic Dental Clinic, and suddenly met dentist called drg. Yusuf Assegaf. This is out of my plan, because I prefer with a dentist who is woman, and i met him, he explain what he thinks about my teeth and he make some plans, it just was nice, and maybe it's okay to try fix my problem with him.
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| in general, this is my problem, i don't have complete teeth :( |
See! I really love my teeth, i clean it twice a day! I choose best toothpaste (just because i'm pharmacist and ever make some formulations about toothpaste, so don't envy with me when i can easily choose where the best toothpaste in market among so many products there! :p)! I choose the cute braces for my teeth, and the color of rubber gear is cute too! So can you understand that i really love my teeth?
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| this problem is usually come twice in month when i'm using braces |
The process to make my teeth complete, is so long, need time, need patience. Everyday i talk with my teeth, you'll be okay and better someday, so be happy with me, don't be sad when i never show you, don't be sad when others start judging, be happy! be happy! be happy! you save with me, whatever happen, you still my fav teeth! And sometimes when my motivation getting low, i start remember that i'm not alone to fix my problem, i have a good dentist beside me who is super understand about my teeth! So be happy! Process is beautiful!
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