my personal life

10 questions to End the Year Intentionally

00.22


I read some blogs and inspired by Daisy and Cait Flanders to anwer ten questions before end the year, so this is my turn:

What make this year unforgettable?
the feeling when my friends get married one by one, the feeling of worrying about my future, the feeling that being 26 yo is not easy when you are not married yet, the feeling when everyone start asking about my relationship status, the feeling when i wear braces for the first time, the feeling that at least 1-2 years i can't go with man or my close friends because im in therapy, the feeling when i stuck working at hospital even though i don't like my job yet, the feeling when i know about library called libgen so i can read everything i want there, the feeling when order some books in periplus and being real hold the books i love, the feeling when i can share my ideas with Oky and Mutia in the first January, the feeling when i finally done with every concept of photography that i've been created, the feeling when i was angry after work, the feeling when i'm crying all night because everything i do feel so bad for others, i think i discover so many feeling this year, from the good till the worst

What did you enjoy doing this year?
I really enjoyed when i shop some plants, then i made some photography and start learning about the plants and the concept itself. I really enjoyed when spend my time to read and learn my favourite poetry books, and try to write over and over again. I try to cook some foods when i'm in the mood, and i think it not totally bad. I spend my weekend sometimes in my best friend home. I really enjoyed not travelling much too.

What/who is the one thing/person you're grateful for?
If that is a person it will be Meutia Tamimi Auli, i'm so happy can being part of her friend, she always have unique things to share, can share my problem with her is becoming fun because she have a cool perspective that anyone can't have.

If that is a thing it will be my blog, my blog giving me a facility that i can learn to write english anytime i want, my blog always have spaces to hear my stories and i'm for that.

What's your biggest win in this year?
I write my first book this year! A real book!

What did you read/ watch/listen to that made the most impact this year?
sad girls by lang leav, gateway car by taylor swift, to all the boys i've loved before by netflix, and good places by iflix

What did you worry about most and how did it turn out?
I'm worry can't finish my book because i'm lost in the middle of writing, but actually i did.
I'm  worry can meet someone i love because of my therapy, but actually i meet him twice
I'm worry not married this year, and it still unhappen yet, but it's okay, it's not my business, it's God plans :D

What was your biggest regret and why?
being a shopaholic (?) (?) T-T

What's one thing that you changed about yourself?
i'm not sure about this question, i feel nothing change T-T

What surprised you the most this year?
a flood attack my pharmacy, so much water fall down to the lift seems like water fall, so many natural disaster in my country T-T, i think i need the real Aquaman for 2019 T-T

If you could go back to last January 1, what suggestions would you give to your past self?
be confident, eat a good food, unfollow all online shop, don't sleep to much :D

beautiful hello

your dreams matter. period.

17.22


When I was graduated, so many job opportunity in front of me. From the first time i learn in college, i know what subject that i love the most. What i love is different with what i can past easily, easy to get the best score. Because college is not for free, i follow the rules, the fastest rules to graduate as fast as i can. College not guarantee your future, but college is one of "a must" term in nowadays. College is complex games. There will be a fake lecturer who harness their college students for their research project, and more, and if you lucky you will be meet a rare lecturer who is real researcher. Why i can say that? because the "real" one, will do the project, will write, making idea, and the important point is "applied" the result for world, for better life, not for the new "tittle" at the end of their name, i think the "tittle" should be just extra bonus necessarily.

College make me learn a lot about people, about what "success" mean in their definition. But i think it's not me at all. They said becoming success is being a head of the hospital pharmacy installation or being a part of biggest pharmaceutical company and more, and the most bitter reality is the more success you are the little time you have. So Sad.

Money is the simple answer of their final definition about success. The more money you get, the more success you are. I'm not denying that i need money too, but i need money to survive from life, to support my dream, so i follow the rules they made. Oh yeah, still in my head, I never understand with people who like save their money, but they don't know for what the money for. I choose the job which at least can fulfill my needs, and give me enough time to do what i wanna do. Okay, the second questions is time. If i have so many time? what will i do? Is it true that i need a lot of free time? 

Basically, i don't really like laying all day long in my bedroom, because my neck will gotta sick. I don't like watching tv from morning till night too, or having long conversations with my family. Getting busy is my best friend, but not busy for other people business, but busy with my world, with myself. As your expectation i really like to write, so i need time to write, write my books, and the good news is after two years of hectic works in hospital, stolen some time to write, finally i got my first book finish in this Desember! Can't wait to meet you in my book tour! <'3

This is the power of the dreams itself. You need your dreams, because they are matter. Your dreams is your compass in this complicated world. Your dream will guide you to manage your money and time better. You need a big dream, the dream that will not be washed away when flood come. If having a house and cars is your dream, i'm sorry to say that your dream not big enough. Happy holiday and happy new years everyone! 

with love, uchi

beautiful hello

my colorful 2018

23.33

So in the last January 2018 i create "colorful girl" into my life theme, not enjoying all colors at once, but i learn those colors one by one! In my imagination it will be red in january, then blue in february, yellow in march and so on, but it didn't 100% happen in reality. I'm too busy in 2018, didn't have fix schedule, so i can't explore 24 colors that i planned before.


Based on color code personality test i'm a red personality. Red mean i'm motivated by power. I seek productivity and need to look good to others. Simply stated, reds want their own way. Red like to be in the driver's seat and willingly pay the price to be in a leadership role. Reds value whatever gets them ahead in life, whether it be in their careers, school or personal life. What reds value, they get done.


Reds like to be right. They value approval from others for their intelligence and practical approach to life, and want to be respected for it. Reds are confudent, proactive, visonary, arrogant, selfish and insensitive. For a better relationship with red you must (1) present issues logically, (2) be direct and specific, (3) support my decisiveness, (4) respect me and (5) verbalize your feelings, and you must not (1) embarrass me in front of others, (2) argue emotionally and (3) take my arguments personally.

what if i like more than one color?


You can choose the color you like not the color that reflect your personality, off course you need a test if you wanna know what the real color you are. Because my test said that I'm a red, it doesn't mean i just only like the red one. I still be free to pick white, black, purple, and more!





So why i choose 'colorful girl' as my theme in this year? Because i wanna see everything as beautiful as how the colors works. 2018 is not about me, me and me, not only about the red. The colors you dislike can tell you a lot about yourself too, often reflecting your weaknesses and vulneralbilities. Your most disliked color will releate to areas in your life that need to be given attention or past hurt that need to be healed :')

Color Psychology said surround yourself with the colors you love, either by wearing them or using them decoratively in your environment. They will empower you to be true to yourself, to show your true color. Always use a small amount of other colors with your favorites to keep energies and behavior balanced. So i think i should discover and having fun with all colors as my 2018 uncompleted homework for 2019!