sleep tight

When I was graduated, so many job opportunity in front of me. From the first time i learn in college, i know what subject that i love the most. What i love is different with what i can past easily, easy to get the best score. Because college is not for free, i follow the rules, the fastest rules to graduate as fast as i can. College not guarantee your future, but college is one of "a must" term in nowadays. College is complex games. There will be a fake lecturer who harness their college students for their research project, and more, and if you lucky you will be meet a rare lecturer who is real researcher. Why i can say that? because the "real" one, will do the project, will write, making idea, and the important point is "applied" the result for world, for better life, not for the new "tittle" at the end of their name, i think the "tittle" should be just extra bonus necessarily.

College make me learn a lot about people, about what "success" mean in their definition. But i think it's not me at all. They said becoming success is being a head of the hospital pharmacy installation or being a part of biggest pharmaceutical company and more, and the most bitter reality is the more success you are the little time you have. So Sad.

Money is the simple answer of their final definition about success. The more money you get, the more success you are. I'm not denying that i need money too, but i need money to survive from life, to support my dream, so i follow the rules they made. Oh yeah, still in my head, I never understand with people who like save their money, but they don't know for what the money for. I choose the job which at least can fulfill my needs, and give me enough time to do what i wanna do. Okay, the second questions is time. If i have so many time? what will i do? Is it true that i need a lot of free time? 

Basically, i don't really like laying all day long in my bedroom, because my neck will gotta sick. I don't like watching tv from morning till night too, or having long conversations with my family. Getting busy is my best friend, but not busy for other people business, but busy with my world, with myself. As your expectation i really like to write, so i need time to write, write my books, and the good news is after two years of hectic works in hospital, stolen some time to write, finally i got my first book finish in this Desember! Can't wait to meet you in my book tour! <'3

This is the power of the dreams itself. You need your dreams, because they are matter. Your dreams is your compass in this complicated world. Your dream will guide you to manage your money and time better. You need a big dream, the dream that will not be washed away when flood come. If having a house and cars is your dream, i'm sorry to say that your dream not big enough. Happy holiday and happy new years everyone! 

with love, uchi

so what's your theme? :')

Akhirnya! Alhamdulillah versi inggris buku pertamaku akhirnya selesai juga <'3 akhirnya selesai setelah revisi berkali-kali, dan dibaca berkali-kali <'3 ........ mimpiku gak sampai sini, ada banyak banget mimpi menunggu di depan! Mungkin membutuhkan beberapa  minggu untuk proses percetakan, selama proses proofreading uda selesai insyaAllah udah mudah, karena dalam membuat buku yang paling berat itu proses proofreading karena harus dibaca berkali-kali untuk meminimalis kesalahan yang mungkin terjadi, Alhamdulillah prosesnya sudah selesai! Sekarang saatnya penerbit yang bekerja mulai dari ngelayout, tata letak sampai pendaftaran ISBN saya serahkan kepada penerbit, dan tugasku sekarang adalah belajar bagaimana submit bukuku ini ke Netflix <'3

Fall in love with a man is interesting feel that i always wanna feel. If you ever read my blog post 3 years ago, you will understand why fall in love is not easy again for me. I spend 4 or maybe 5 years loving a man, i share the story to my bestie, and finally she married with him, it's totally hurt me, and i think i can't believe anyone again. Till now we never speak again, in her wedding she didn't invite me as my intruction, no matter how good she look i can't believe her again, and if i have to really trust her its just one thing, when she said "there will be a good man, the best man, waiting for me", at the moment i was crying and said "he is the best man for me, and you take him after you broken with your boyfriend, you are so selfish, doesn't have principle, just because your age will be expired, totally regret share how good he was with you". I can't tell you the details of the story here, but it's totally hurt, because of that i loss my weight around 5kg :(

Day after day passed, till i meet a man and i think i fall in love with him. He is so smart, cute, animal and maybe plant lover too, he have beautiful heart and soft voice. How can i fall in love with him? He buys some plant in my shop, sometimes he respond my status, and i'm totally amazed hearing his opinion when he start asking me a question.... then i start finding some information about him, he lives with beautiful mom and cute sister and he loves them so much........ hmmmm ....... i like it but still don't want make some expectations :p

Lately i'm so thirsty about history, the real stories 44 years ago that will being my 3rd book. I ever told you that i want give my mother a present, true a story about her in a book and it will happen. To write that story i need some information, about the places, the detail character, what the thing they like and dislike, i'm so thirsty. Like always my aunt never allowed me to skip my dinner in her house, not just eat our food, but i should share what happen today. I tell her what movie i watch and why i like it, why i'm so curious about it and finally why i give the movie 4 stars, then i remember about my 3rd book and start questioning everything who my mom was in the past. Spending 2 hours hearing her story make me can't stop laughing and crying, i think she's good on remembering something. Now i can't stop writing! Thankyouuuu my beautiful aunt, your contribution can't be ignored :'>

Suddenly think that no person in this world who never being a liar. If we give equality value to all the feeling we feel, we will realize that we often lie at least for ourselves. What i mean 'equality' here is positive and negative stand equal, positive not always good and negative not always bad. In general we can feel 5 feeling, anger, sadness, disgust, fear and enjoyment. Happiness is everyone's goal, example in your birthday you will get the message "happy birthday, i hope your dream more closer to you" , when you get married "congratulation for both of you, happily ever after", look happiness is totally our goal and because of it everyday we trying to be happy. When we start add the "trying" word, we start to lie without realizing it. Lying is never easy especially lying to yourself.

When you sad - just feel it, when you angry - it's okay to explode it, when you don't want meet someone - don't meet them, you don't need look happy or feeling okay every time. You don't need to pretend to be strong. Be honest, and i call it self care. The real "strong" mean for me, like when i touch cockroach, i never feel fear anymore. It's honest. Maybe for now we need to find the real feel of every feeling and stop lying. Good luck!