beautiful hello

networking is pain : a thought by Alexander Thian

23.15

Good morning, friends! I join at least four literacy discussions by patjarmerah this weekend! The first was "meramu sejarah Indonesia dalam novel komedi" by Adhitya Mulya, the 2nd was "bincang buku : Na Willa" by Reda Gauidamo, then "menemani kata-kata bekerja dalam puisi" by Aan Mansyur and the last "literasi digital - personal branding" by Alexander Thian (@aMrazing). In this post i will tell you what i've learn from the last author i mention before.


If you active on instagram or twitter i'm sure you already know who Alexander Thian (Ko Alex) is. He is traveller - story teller - influencer who have beautiful perspective. Becaming curious girl who wants knowing about the world more but have limited time i decide to follow him on instagram (and twitter too). I'm so happy and enjoying when he make some instagram stories about Europe (like how to get free water in France, how his feeling when finally he found lavender land, how the happy is when you get sunset in airport before fly) - not everyone can share "that feeling - that lesson - that experience" into the simple - accessible instagram stories and he does.


I got my seat 1 hour before his event begin. Imagine he finally "real" in front of me, real - real; not just on my phone, i'm nervous actually but i keep myself to act as normal as i can. If Dewi Okta Briana (my close friend) come i'm totally sure she will be super happy, but she can't and it's okay, I'll record some videos for you Wi! Oke back to the main story! Ko Alex using colourful jacket and simple pants, he look so bright. Different from previous speaker, he don't just sit on the chair but he stand, walked over to us! OMG i still can't believed it! 

First the MC introducing who is he, then Ko Alex open his section by asking audience some questions.

"who want to be rich?" - then everyone raised their hands, also me.

"who want to be famous?" - just two or three or four people, then he ask

"who want to be an author?" - half of audience

"who want becoming famous author?" - most of audience, and he ask again

"and what's wrong being famous?" - everyone laughed. 

He also ask why we do business, what drives business, what the real cord in business (cmiiw) - and the answer is a content - personal story. He said everyone can make story, but not everyone can tell the story, that's the point. Then he ask again who want become a writer, spontantly i raised my hand and he came to me! (HE CAME TO ME! CRY !!!!!)

"what kind of writer you want to be?"

"i wanna write beautiful stories and poems like lang leav"

"waaah.. who else?"

"actually i'm nervous so i can't remember well"

"i flip my body, just pretend i'm not here"

".......(trying to remember) amanda lovelace .. rupi kaur.."

"waah... berat-berat lho bacaan mbak ini (cmiiw).. then what you have done to get there?"

"i write my first book...." - all audience give me applause

"what is the title?"

"to hold what i don't understand"

"to what..?"

"to hold what i don't understand" - repeat my words, i just think i should take english speaking class soon to fix my pronunciation problem :(

"oh .. to hold what i don't understand"

"then what you have done to introduce ur book to be known by others"

"still don't have the answer yet -" - i don't know why i answer like that, actually after publishing my book by local publisher - now i'm make some proposal for Andrews McMeel Publishing and Penguin Press - add my book at good reads too - i hope it will work.

Ko Alex give me some explanations, not just for me but for all audience, at least he give 7 lessons, and the best lesson i can remember is the fact "networking is pain" - we need time - we need process. He tell us his experience about his first book. He said "i only got 10 people who were interested in my book, and the 5 of them were my friends, i realize who am i, i'm not raditya dika whom in 10 minutes his book could be sold out, but don't worry, keep working and time will pay everything"--- and i believe it :'> thank you Ko Alex .... i'm so happy spend my weekend with you and ur fans this saturday.... i will never regret telling people how i feel, spend my time with those who matter the most, i'm excited!

beautiful hello

long time, no talk :)

05.11

Ini udah 5 atau 6 bulan gue gak pernah nulis di blog, terus terang gue sibuk banget - banyak banget agenda-agenda secara real maupun secara perasaan tidak terprediksi terjadi tahun 2019 ini. Perasaan gue bergejolak kesana kesini seperti ombak, "life is a beach, enjoy the wave" - kemarin sempet baca itu, dan menurut gue itu benar. Enam bulan di tahun 2019 ini banyak sekali yang berubah - banyak sekali - entah gue maupun orang-orang di sekeliling gue. Gue merasa gue gak banyak berubah, tetapi mereka iya. Gue merasa benar-benar semangat belajar ini itu, gue juga seneng banget akhirnya bisa sering banget ketiduran karena kelelahan, kelelahan~ ... Beberapa bulan gue mencoba sangat sibuk - bulan berikutnya mencoba begitu slow - bulan berikutnya sedang-sedang saja, dan hasilnya gue tetap bertanya-tanya .... perasaan ini dinamakan hidup buatan bukan haha~ .. buatan adalah terencana, dan aku merencakan hidup untuk menyeimbangkan perasaan dan berharap mendapat jawaban di fase hidup seperti apa aku merasa sangat puas, dan tenang belum ada jawabannya, aku masih mencari jawaban -  karena aku mencari - aku menulis - dan - selamat membaca ..

my personal life

beberapa hari ini dingin

15.10

Beberapa hari ini musim terasa begitu buruk, panas terik di pagi hari kemudian hujan sangat lebat di sore hingga malam hari, ini tidak mudah baik untuk bekerja dan berada di rumah. Rumahku atapnya tidak bekerja 100% lagi, sehingga setelah hujan aku harus mengepel genangan air bocor. Beberapa hari ini sahabatku meutia juga memberikan kabar kondisinya di Jepang, dia terlihat sangat bahagia setelah menempuh penantian sepanjang 5 jam di dalam pesawat, aku suka dia memberitahuku di Jepang sangat dingin dan ada seledri sepanjang lengan tanganku :'>

my personal life

kepada 9 pasien terbaik dari apt uchi

19.05


Semalaman merenenung tentang mengapa akhir-akhir ini aku membaca buku ini buku itu, film ini film itu, channel youtube ini dan itu, dari semua ini dan itu semua tidak terlepas dari psikologi, karena akhir-akhir ini sangat jenuh dengan pekerjaan yang berulang setiap hari tiba-tiba berfikir apakah cita-citaku sebenarnya menjadi seorang psikolog ya? Aku sangat suka mempelajari emosi, baik emosiku sendiri, maupun emosi orang lain. Aku selalu tertarik mempelajari mengapa aku bahagia, mengapa aku menangis, mengapa dia marah, mengapa emosi itu yang kita pilih untuk kita ekspresikan, aku benar-benar tertarik dengan itu semua. Setidaknya rasa penasaranku bisa menjadi obat kejenuhan pekerjaan sehari-hariku. 

Pekerjaan sehari-hariku adalah seperti ini, aku bekerja pada shift pagi dan siang yang kurang lebih mengambil 8 jam waktuku setiap harinya. Jika aku berkerja pada shift pagi pertama aku harus merencanakan kebutuhan obat depo farmasi untuk hari ini, melakukan permintaan obat ke gudang, menerima dan menatanya, mengemasi obat-obat fast moving untuk mempercepat pelayanan hingga pukul 09.00, setelah itu 50-200 pasien dari rawat jalan, 2-10 pasien dari IGD, 2-15 pasien rawat inap, 0-2 pasien OK VK ICU akan mulai ke apotek dan pekerjaan utamaku akan dimulai, jika beruntung ada 4 personal di shift pagi maka aku bisa memilih salah satu posisi entah sebagai penganalisis + penginput resep, penyiapan, juru racik atau pemberi edukasi pasien. Bukan rahasia jika kenyataan tidak pernah seideal itu, sehingga seringnya di pagi hari aku sendirian atau berdua dengan TTK gudang merangkap semua pekerjaan utama itu. Jika aku bekerja pada shift siang aku harus melanjutkan pekerjaan shift pagi yang tidak selesai, mengecek dan membuat perencanaan untuk pasien rawat inap selama satu hari, jujur bekerja pada shift siang lebih berat dari shift pagi.

Dari semua part-part tersebut, dalam post ini aku ingin menceritakan ketika aku sebagai pemberi edukasi. Posisi ini membutuhkan komunikasi dan kerja sama emosi yang baik, baik dari pemberi edukasi maupun pasien. Pasien mengekspresikan banyak sekali emosi, begitu juga aku. Berikut adalah 9 pasien yang memberikan pengalaman emosi terbaik kepadaku :'>

1. Pasien pertama, pasien pertama datang setiap hari kamis siang, pasien dari poli penyakit dalam, beliau adalah seorang Bapak, usianya sekitar 67 tahun, pertama kali bertemu dengan beliau di lantai 4 pada saat aku melakukan visite farmasi, jarang sekali aku melakukan visite karena tuntutan serangkaian pekerjaan yang kuceritakan pada paragraf dua. Beliau kurang lebih menghabiskan 10 hari di poli rawat inap, kemudian kontrol setiap satu bulan sekali. Jika probabilitasnya tepat, kita akan bertemu satu bulan sekali. Setiap bertemu beliau selalu tersenyum dan menyapa namaku, menunggu obat dengan sabar, memperhatikan setiap kalimatku pada setiap momen edukasi, kemudian dia berkata "kegiatan mba uchi sehari-hari apa selain bekerja?", dia menunjukkan mimik muka kecewa karena aku tidak melanjutkan kuliah lagi ke jenjang yang lebih tinggi setiap kontrol dan bertemu denganku, "jangan lupa minum air putih lho mba uchi, biar tetep sehat jika sekolah lagi". Biasanya aku hanya tersenyum, emote titik dua tanpa mulut di whatsapp. 

2. Pasien kedua, pasien kedua datang setiap hari rabu, pasien dari poli penyakit dalam juga, satu-satunya pasien yang pernah bertanya perbedaan candesartan, irbesartan dan valsartan bersama perbedaan pada setiap dosisnya. Beliau adalah seorang dokter hewan, selama edukasi beliau menjelaskan perbedaan-perbedaan dosisnya antara hewan dan manusia, menceritakan penelitian-penelitian terbarunya, beberapa klaim tidak benar dimasyarakat. Beliau selalu bisa menjawab mengapa telinga kuda berbalik ke belakang jika dia tidak nyaman denganku, mengapa ibu dan anak kucing tidak pernah akur ketika mereka dewasa. Aku sangat senang dan menanti setiap cerita Bapak tersebut :')

3. Pasien ketiga, pasien ketiga datang setiap hari selasa, pasien dari poli mata, seorang Bapak juga, pengacara atau bagian hukum lainnya pekerjaannya. Beliau adalah pasien BPJS dengan penyakit glaukoma sudut mata terbuka, harga obatnya mahal, tidak di cover BPJS. Dia mengeluarkan emosi marah dan kecewa atas kesalahan sistem yang berdasarkan pemahamanku itu bukan kesalahanku. Harga obat tersebut sekitar 400rb, sementara aturan yang dibuat bosku untuk semua pasien rawat jalan nilainya kurang dari itu sehingga aku tidak bisa memberikan dan menjelaskan prosedur tersebut kepada beliau, beliau tidak bisa menerima penjelasanku dan marah sehingga aku tiba-tiba menangis, aku masuk kembali ke dalam apotek, menceritakan kepada bosku, aku dilarang memberikan obat semahal itu kepada pasien dengan alasan prosedur itu, tetapi bosku memberikan obatnya diluar dari prosedur, pasien merasa senang dan mengira aku berbohong, aku merasa jadi kambing hitam dan jahat, life yha :'>

4. Pasien keempat, pasien yang hanya kutemui satu kali, masih berumur 14 tahun, pasien poli penyakit jiwa, datang ke apotek di sore hari. Aku mempunyai kebiasan memutar musik saat bekerja, biasanya musik instrumen penenang di pagi hari karena pasiennya banyak, dan musik kesukaanku di sore hari untuk membangunkan kembali semangatku. Musik kesukaanku baru bisa ku putar di sore hari karena bosku sudah pulang, bosku sangat tidak menyukai musik dan itu membuat bekerja dengannya sangat membosankan actually. Sore itu aku memutar lagu taylor swift, aku melihat pasienku menikmatinya, hingga akhirnya tiba waktunya aku mengedukasi obatnya, yang membuatku terkejut dia tidak menanyakan obatnya sama sekali, dia bertanya "mba uchi penggemar taylor swift juga ya? aku suka lho mba nungguin obat kalo lagu itu diputar", OMG pertama kalinya aku mendapat apresiasi dari pasien terhadap musik yang ku putar :'>

5. Pasien kelima, pasien ini datang setiap hari jum'at setiap bulannya, pasien dari poli paru, asma. Obatnya hanya satu macam, spiriva respimat. Tidak ada yang spesial selain kesabarannya. Dia hanya mendapat satu obat dan tetap bisa mengucapkan terimakasih setalah 4 jam atau lebih menunggu antrian, tidak pernah mengekspresikan emosi marah sedikitpun :')

6. Pasien keenam, satu-satunya pasien anak yang mendapat 3 botol asam valproat setiap bulannya, karena masalah sistem biasanya aku memberikan 2 botol dulu, botol ketiga menyusul, sehingga dipastikan dia akan ke apotek dua kali dalam sebulan dan selalu bilang "butuhnya tiga ya mba, jangan lupa botol terakhirnya". Pasien ini menjadi spesial karena tidak lelah mengingatkan untuk perbaikan sistem yang baik, setiap bangun tidur aku membaca WA nya, "jangan lupa ya mba", terimakasih ibu anda membuat saya merasa seperti apoteker yang benar-benar dibutuhkan dan itu penting :'>

7. Pasien ketujuh, pasien anak dari poli penyakit syaraf dan jiwa dengan sakit kejang berat. Obatnya ada 6 macam, dan mahal. Seperti pada poin ketiga, aturan yang membuatku tidak bisa memberikan semuanya, tetapi beliau bisa menerimanya, dengan teliti. Obatnya tidak belasan jumlahnya bisa puluhan, salah satunya depakote sebanyak 180 tablet. Karena tidak bisa diberikan sepenuhnya dan beliau benar-benar membutuhkannya untuk anaknya, beliau adalah satu-satunya pasien yang akan menghitung kembali jumlah obatnya tanpa merasa kecewa sedikitpun <': 

8. Pasien kedelapan, sepasang suami istri dari poli penyakit jantung, obatnya sama persis, banyak. Mereka berdua selalu sabar mendengarkanku menjelaskan satu persatu obatnya, dan selalu bertanya pertanyaan yang sama setiap bulannya, "maaf mba sudah berkeluarga kah?", setiap mendengar pertanyaan ini sebenarnya aku seperti disambar petir tetapi berusaha sekuatnya untuk tersenyum, aku hanya tersenyum dan mereka berdua melanjutkan kalimatnya "anak kami putri baru bertemu jodohnya pada usia 39 tahun, tidak apa-apa, nanti jodoh mba pasti ketemu tapi jangan lupa berdo'a, jangan lupa minta sama Allah ya mba uchi" ..... setiap ingat kedua pasien itu aku jadinya selalu menyebut nama cowo yang kusuka setiap sholat :'> 

9. Pasien kesembilan, pasien dari poli jantung, syaraf, penyakit dalam dan mata. Pasien yang mungkin setiap minggu akan kutemui. Pasien yang selalu membantuku menghitung jumlah obat dan penjadwalan obatnya, aku merasa sangat berguna sekali walaupun pasien hanya mengucapkan "terimakasih ya mba sudah dituliskan setiap jamnya pada  setiap etiket obat" ... :'>

begitulah cara kerja ke sembilan pasien ini dalam memicu ekspresi emosi terbaikku, terimakasih yha~

salam hangat,
uchi

my personal life

to be moral people

05.33


You need to be a better version of yourself, ok? and I do too

The Good Place follows Eleanor, Chidi, Jason and Tahani as they find themselves in the afterlife in the so-called "Good Place" but come to wonder if they really belong there. Each of the four main characters makes up one piece of the morality puzzle. Every one of the four has something to teach the others about how to live morally, with their strengths combined, the four together add up to one complete moral person.

Each central character in the good place has one piece of what it takes to be a good person, Eleanor is the will, Chidi is the conscience, Jason is a kindness on a personal scale, and Tahani is kindess on a larger community scale. Each of these elements is a very positive thing, but none is enough on its own. The characters eventually understand that they make each other better by being together and likewise, if we want to be moral people, we need all four of these components.

1. as the Will Eleanor implements the others' abstract desires and turns them into the action. She has the drive of act that the others often lack, especially Chidi. But Eleanor's drive to act can be either for good or more often when shes's left to her own devices, for bad. She need to learn what the philosopher Immanual Kant called "good will". According to Kant, good will has two parts (1) First, using reason to recognize the right thing to do, (2) and second acting based on this sense of moral obligation or duty. So the two steps are essentially the "good" plus the "will". Eleanor has the "will" part down. What she lacks, and need to gain from others is the "good". During the group's test, the judge evaluates Eleanor is selfishness, you're supposed to do good things because you're good, not because seeking of moral dessert, because without the good in "good will" there's nothing to prevent us for making purely self-serving choices. Eleanor starts filling in that missing first step and understanding how to reason out her moral choices. Thanks to lessons from her new friends, Chidi provides that the "reason" that sorts out the good from the bad, and Jason and Tahani provide the kindness and the desire to do good. But the kindness and good intentions of the three are useless without Eleanor's ability to carry them out. She becomes the decision maker of the group, and even feels like the leader most of the time because she has the will to make change happen.

2. Chidi represents the knowledge of right and wrong, and this basically makes him the conscience of the group. He knows virtually everything there is to know about how to be a good person, and this knowledge is essential for behaving in a moral way: without it, Eleanor, Jason and Tahani would remain ignorant, still, what Chidi lacks is the ability to translate his knowledge into the action. He's paralyzed by his hyper-awareness of the moral ramifications of every tiny decision. His test from the judge is simply to make a choice, and he feels miserably. He needs Eleanor to execute his reason in behavior, "the best version of me is just as much about my effect on the world around me as it is about my own egocentric self-image. This key revelation from Chidi finally makes this connection between his intentions and the result or impact of his actions. He spent his life trying to embody an abstract, perfect good. But since goodness has to be expressed in action, it can't be perfect except in theory "I spent my whole life trying to learn about right and wrong, and apparently, i failed. Chidi spent his life thinking about good instead of doing it, and that's why he ended up in the bad place, "indecision caused you so much agony in your life"

3. Jason embodies kindness on a personal level, unlike the other three, he actually had close supportive friendships while he was on earth. He's always understood the value of relationships with other people, which is something that Eleanor, Chidi and Tahani are still learning. He's very sweet, and his first instinct is always to be nice to people, "and i promise to always be nice to you". Showing others kindness is an important part of being a good person, but what Jason needs to gain from the others, and especially Tahani. is a broader understanding of how to be good, not just in the moment, but in the long run. He fails his test from judge because he doesn't even bother to figure out what the test really is : he sees the video games, something that will bring him immediate happiness, and he jump on it without examining the consequences. "Your test is about impulse control, but you never asked if you could opt not to play, I mean, you basically told me, an all-knowing judge, to just shut up and go away". So Jason needs to find the will to improve, and develop the foresight to consider how the moment at hand affects the future, "it's basic consequentialism the morality of an action is solely judged on its consequences".

4. While jason is kind to the individuals in his life, Tahani represents good works for the benefit of the community, and the world. She's a phillanthropist who has made the world a better place in a quantifiable way. The results of her charitable generousity are an indisputably positive, meaningful contribution to the greater good. But the problem is that her motivations are entirely selfish. Despite the good outcome, her behavior is lacking morality because is never grounded in love for other people, and that's what she needs to learn from Jason, "you are awesome, be nicer to yourself".


Eleanor and Chidi, and Jason and Tahani are paired as fake "soulmates", precisely because they're complete opposites. Michael assumes these people are so ill-matched, they'll torture each other. But ironically, Eleanor and Chidi, and arguably Jason and Tahani too become each other's soulmates. What makes them total opposites actually allows them to bring out the best in each other. Eleanor's will forces Chidi to stop being so hesitant and wishy-washy. And Chidi is a conscience helping Eleanor decipher right from wrong, he's the voice inside her head she keeps referring to. Jason shows Tahani the importance of sincerely meaning the kind things you do. And Tahani helps Jason understand the impact of his actions.

What is a soulmate, then?
We might picture our soulmate as someone we have a lot in common with, who's a mirror of us, made of the same stuff we are. But The Good Place is saying a soulmate is more the thing you're missing. And opposites don't just attract, they also complete each other. Fundamentally, your soulmate is just the person who makes you better than you can be without them. So the show telling us you don't necessarily need to find that perfect cosmically chosen match. you and your partner can develop into a soulmate by working on yourselves together. The Good Place's overriding message is that it's our love for one another that makes us good. Being a good person is hard work, but if you truly understand the value of the people in your life, it's hard work you want to do. 


beautiful hello

mengelola cara pandang di hari minggu

03.57


Hari minggu ini memutuskan untuk membersihkan taman kecil di rumah setelah beberapa minggu terakhir dihabiskan untuk menulis. Bangun tidur agak kesiangan, cuci muka, membuat secangkir susu hangat, mengambil headset, memutar musik kesukaan dan mulai berkebun. Tidak ada hal terlalu rumit dalam berkebun, pertama aku akan memantau apakah tanaman kecilku tumbuh dengan baik, kedua apakah rumputnya sudah cukup subur untuk dicabut? Aku menanam tanaman-tanaman dengan waktu tumbuh lumayan lama, seperti kaktus, sukulen, gerbera, zz plant dan lainnya, sehingga setiap aku mengeceknya setiap bulan tidak ada perubahan yang terlalu berarti, mereka selalu tampak muda :)


Lihat, mereka biasanya berubah setelah 6 bulan, kadang melihat mereka sering sedih juga karena selama enam bulan mereka menunjukkan perubahan signifikan, sementara hidupku? masih biasa-biasa aja dan itu tidak apa-apa :)

Kemudian apa yang biasanya ku temukan dan berkembang sangat cepat? Rumput liar. Ketika kamu mendengar kata rumput liar, kira-kira pikiran kamu mengarah ke arah positif, negatif atau biasa aja? Pikiran pertama yang terlintas di pikiran kamu itu kurang lebih bisa mendeskripsikan kepribadian kamu dalam memandang sesuatu. Pengalaman membersihkan rumput biasanya ku lakukan sendirian, terkadang bersama adek perempuanku, dan terkadang juga bersama ibuku. Aku termasuk orang yang sedikit tertarik dengan rumput, aku sengaja tidak membersihkannya setiap minggu karena menurutku mereka juga layak untuk hidup pada musim tertentu, rumput juga sama dengan tanaman hias lainnya, menghasilkan oksigen dan membersihkan udara untuk kita, jadi tidak ada salahnya memberi kesempatan kepada mereka untuk hidup sedikit lebih lama. Berbeda denganku, adekku selalu ingin membersihkannya setiap rumput mulai terlihat tumbuh karena dia berfikir rumput merugikan tanaman inangnya, itu akan menyakitkan bagi tumbuhan inang di sekitarnya, dan beberapa rumput mengundang ulat yang merugikan juga katanya, sementara ibuku sangat suka dengan rumput, dia menyukai rumput dan dia mencabutnya juga, sedikit tidak selaras tapi itu terjadi, setiap mencabut rumput ibu selalu berkata "ibu itu kayak rumput, kuat, bisa hidup dimana saja, tidak gampang menyerah untuk mati, dicabut pun akan tumbuh lagi"(?)

Ketiga cara pandang tersebut tidak ada yang salah kan? Menarik semenarik beberapa rumput yang berhasil ku potret <'3

akar rumput sangat panjang, minimal 2x dari tingginya

beberapa rumput terlihat tidak seperti rumput, beberapa terlihat seperti pohon kecil

jika rumput berhasil dicabut, mereka tidak mudah menyerah, mereka membawa banyak tanah bersama akarnya

jika kamu beruntung, kamu akan menemukan Ibu siput dan anak-anaknya selama membersihkan rumput, beberapa rumput meneduhkan bayi-bayi siput

Dimana pun posisi rumput berdiri di pikiran kalian, baik sebagai hal baik, hal buruk atau hal biasa aja, rumput mengajarkan kita bahwa cara pandang kita perlu dikelola. Kalian tidak perlu benar-benar memelihara rumput atau terlalu histeris mencabutnya ketika dia mulai tumbuh, tidak perlu terlalu memuji "wah rajinnya" ketika melihat tetangga kalian bersih-bersih rumput atau mengatakan "dia malas banget orangnya" ketika melihat rumput tumbuh panjang di halaman rumah tetangga. Cara pandang mereka dan kita berbeda, dan perbedaan itu indah :)

my personal life

why Taylor Swift?

15.29


First i feel special because I and Taylor swift was born in the same month, December. If you ever hearing 1989 Big Machine Radio, you will understand the story behind every Taylor Swift's song. She fall in love, break up, desperate, happy, angry, hopeless, fear, peace, compassion, and all emotions she's feel - she learn, imagine and write it into a song and i think that is too COOL. I love all songs in her albums, fearless - speak now - red - 1989 - reputation, OMG i just can't skip even one song on each album. I sing, i can feel what she feel, and i think i feel same feeling too. I'm so easy to fall in love with words, maybe in a books, musics or movies, and her words always successful make me crazy <'3

"Shake it Off is a song that i wrote about having to deal with on everyday basis... just kind of how human beings treat each other. It's not just me who has to deal with it, it's everybody out there living their lives. You know, the feeling of humiliation is the same when a girl has a rumor spread around about her at school isn't true, is the same feeling i feel when i'm checking out at the grocery store and i read some crazy headlines about me.. and i think that the way have to deal with those issues is the same, you have to learn to have sense of humor about things after a while or else you're just live in endless sea of resentment and bitterness and why are people doing this to me.. and rather than writing a song that was victimized in nature i wanted to write a song that was joyful and give people way to cope with whatever knots of ridiculousness life is doling out to them but also makes them want to dance"

"Blank Space is of the only songs that i've ever written that I started out wring as a complete joke.. i think as a songwriter you have to be pretty aware of who you are as a person, but then i think you also have to have one eye on what people think of you, kind of what the general perception is of you out in th world.. and in the last couple of years i've noticed there's been sort of a pretty sensational fictionalization of my personal life... you know, they kind of drawn this profile of this girl who's a serial dater jet setting around with all her boyfriends and then.. you know, she can get'em but she can't keep 'em coz she's too emotional and she's needy, then she gets her heart broken coz they leave and she's jilted so she goes to her evil layer and write songs about it for revenge. It's just kind of this very complex profile of a person. Then I got to thinking about it... and i started to think about how interesting that character is if she were a real person and had all these qualities and attributes what song would she write and ... em, i'm pretty sure it would sound a little like this"

"Out of the Woods is about the fragility and kind of breakable nature of some relationships, one of the golas i set out to accomplish when i wanted to make this album is i wanted to make sure that these songs sounded exactly the way that the emotions felt when i felt them. This was a relationship where it was kind of living day-to-day, wondering where it was going, if it was gonna go anywhere, if it was gonna end the next day. It was a relationship where you never feel like you're standing on solid ground. And that kind of a feeling brings on excitement, but also extreme anxiety, and kind of a frantic feeling of wondering. Endless questions, and this song sounds exactly like that frantic feeling of anxiety and questioning, but it stresses that, even if a relationship is breakable and fragile and full of anxiety, it doesn't mean that it isn't worthwhile, exciting, beautiful and all the things that we look for."

See i learn the story of every her songs and the story happen to me too! If you have free time, try to hear the reason she write the song, it will make you feel you're not absolutely alone :)